I had to put my thoughts in my Blog
I really want to stop thinking about this so I'm going to put down my thoughts and then hopefully put it behind me.....and just for Brenna there will be paragraphs, many paragraphs.
Of course it's about Jean. Maybe another "letter to Jean that will never get sent , part 2"
For the last year I've had this simmering anger towards you, my "best friend". It all started years and years ago though. The 50th birthday brought it all to a head. I was in a very, very bad place when I was turning 50. I hated my job, I hated turning 50. I was really, really depressed and I told you about it. So, you forgot my birthday...your excuse being "we just moved and my mom is sick and my dad is mean". There never was an apology though and you turned things around to make me feel bad that I would even EXPECT you to remember. The next year goes by. Things aren't the same as before because I can't get over how you hurt me.....and it's not just the birthday....it started way before that.
New paragraph... Here comes my 51st birthday. I even mentioned it in a e mail because I really don't want you to forget. I get an e mail from you the weekend after my birthday "we had such a nice weekend, I helped my friend with her new drapes and we visited and ate so much and had such fun". I e mail back and mention my birthday. The next e mail from you: "I cried all the way home from my weekend because my mom is sick and my dad is mean". You turned it ALL around AGAIN to make ME feel bad that YOU forgot MY birthday AGAIN. With the same excuse as last year.
A few random thoughts: If you'd had a hysterectomy I would have sent flowers...from you not even a card. I got a few phone calls but never even asking how I was.
When we moved to Oregon you tried to make me feel so guilty about leaving MN. and leaving my family. I didn't have any choice. My husband had to work.
You were always so sarcastic and mean about any friends I ever had "Oh, they DRINK" or some other nasty remark.
You had a COW when Kerm and Jan were planning to leave Clara City. You made it sound like they were rejecting God and accepting Satan. Have you ever even been to St. Peter? It's a million times better than Clara City and because they left CC they got away from narrow minded people like you.
You were so critical of Heather and Anthony moving in together....like it was ANY of your business! Now, let me think.....who is Brian living with?? His girlfriend?
You could never be bothered to visit us in Oregon after we invited you year after year. We've been here over 17 years now. Guess what? You're not going to be invited ever again. Even to the state of Oregon. The borders are closed.
You have never, not ever complimented me on anything. I bend over backwards to compliment you on everything. The last time we were at your house I was so sweet that my teeth hurt. I had gotten a new ring for my 25th anniversary and I was very proud of it. I never mentioned it to you but you noticed it and didn't say a word.
There is so much more but I'm so sick of feeling this way. This is the most toxic relationship I've ever been in and it's going to end.
The End
Of course it's about Jean. Maybe another "letter to Jean that will never get sent , part 2"
For the last year I've had this simmering anger towards you, my "best friend". It all started years and years ago though. The 50th birthday brought it all to a head. I was in a very, very bad place when I was turning 50. I hated my job, I hated turning 50. I was really, really depressed and I told you about it. So, you forgot my birthday...your excuse being "we just moved and my mom is sick and my dad is mean". There never was an apology though and you turned things around to make me feel bad that I would even EXPECT you to remember. The next year goes by. Things aren't the same as before because I can't get over how you hurt me.....and it's not just the birthday....it started way before that.
New paragraph... Here comes my 51st birthday. I even mentioned it in a e mail because I really don't want you to forget. I get an e mail from you the weekend after my birthday "we had such a nice weekend, I helped my friend with her new drapes and we visited and ate so much and had such fun". I e mail back and mention my birthday. The next e mail from you: "I cried all the way home from my weekend because my mom is sick and my dad is mean". You turned it ALL around AGAIN to make ME feel bad that YOU forgot MY birthday AGAIN. With the same excuse as last year.
A few random thoughts: If you'd had a hysterectomy I would have sent flowers...from you not even a card. I got a few phone calls but never even asking how I was.
When we moved to Oregon you tried to make me feel so guilty about leaving MN. and leaving my family. I didn't have any choice. My husband had to work.
You were always so sarcastic and mean about any friends I ever had "Oh, they DRINK" or some other nasty remark.
You had a COW when Kerm and Jan were planning to leave Clara City. You made it sound like they were rejecting God and accepting Satan. Have you ever even been to St. Peter? It's a million times better than Clara City and because they left CC they got away from narrow minded people like you.
You were so critical of Heather and Anthony moving in together....like it was ANY of your business! Now, let me think.....who is Brian living with?? His girlfriend?
You could never be bothered to visit us in Oregon after we invited you year after year. We've been here over 17 years now. Guess what? You're not going to be invited ever again. Even to the state of Oregon. The borders are closed.
You have never, not ever complimented me on anything. I bend over backwards to compliment you on everything. The last time we were at your house I was so sweet that my teeth hurt. I had gotten a new ring for my 25th anniversary and I was very proud of it. I never mentioned it to you but you noticed it and didn't say a word.
There is so much more but I'm so sick of feeling this way. This is the most toxic relationship I've ever been in and it's going to end.
The End
posted by Kris | 7:36 PM
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